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October 5, 2005 Edition

Hey Max:

My boyfriend’s father is an asshole. How do I get over the fear that my boyfriend may turn out like him one day? And, in your opinion, do you think there is a chance he might?


Dear Scared,

Last things first: Yes, there is a chance he might. For the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons. Then again, if he’s aware of his father’s assholeness and determined not to inherit it, that shows an encouraging awareness of the problem. Let’s hope for the best, but be cautiously optimistic…because the dingleberry doesn’t often fall far from the tree.

Dear Max:

I you walk 43 miles north, then run 22 miles west, then take a cab 14 miles southeast, what’s your favorite kind of pizza?


Dear Jessermarys,

I’ve been trying to figure this one out for weeks. I’ve pawed over all my collegiate math texts (such good times!), diagrammed it, consulted an MIT PhD, and then I was walking down the street one day and it came to me. A guy dropped a slice of cheese, ham and sun-dried tomato not six inches from my head. So I’d have to say cheese…ham…and sun-dried tomato.

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