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November 11, 2005 Edition

Dear Max:

Max, Your wit and wisdom are an inspiration to the masses. I just dont understand how you can lick yourself in public and still retain such a solid reputation. The repercussions seem more dramatic for me. How do you do it?

Muzzled and Free

Dear Muzzled and Free,

Let me break it down for you: I am a dog. I lick what I want when I want…I hump strangers’ legs…I pee in public…I snatch food right out of peoples hands…I am GOD spelled backwards for Christ’s sake! So for me, all’s fair in love and licking. For you…there’s an old saying, “When we cannot get what we love, we must love what is within our reach.” And hey, if you can reach it…more power to you.

Dear Max:

Where the hell is my coffee!!???

Java Seeker

Dear Java Seeker,

(Audibly) Coming right up, Sir. Thanks for your patience. (Under my doggie breath) Pipe down, Junior..or you’ll be wearing it!

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