Ask Max Archives

February 2011

January 2011

December 2010

November 2010

October 2010

September 2010

August 2010

July 2010

June 2010

April 2010

February 2010

January 2010

December 2009

September 2009

August 2009

October 2006

September 2006

August 2006

July 2006

June 2006

May 2006

April 2006

March 2006

February 2006

January 2006

December 2005

November 2005

October 2005

September 2005

August 2005

July 2005

June 2005

May 2005


December 01, 2005 Edition

Dear Max:

During my recent visit to New York, with it’s brisk breezes, I experienced a sensation that has niggled me since. Why do man people have nipples?

San Diego Brabbeler

Dear Brabbeler,

On the assumption that everything is there for a reason, and Mother Nature isn’t simply messing with man persons, I have two possible theories: 1) so men can tell when it’s very cold out, without dropping their drawers, or 2) to simplify the sex change operation for transsexuals.

Dear Max:

Do you think Hollywood should continue trying to adapt stage shows into movies?

Former Triple Threat

Dear Former Triple,

My personal opinion on this will carry much less weight than economic history. Stage shows translated to the big screen have had a very mixed record at the box office. And although I’ve never seen a play or a movie at a theater, I’d think the reason is obvious: The actors get really tired running around to all of those movie theaters performing 6 shows a day.

Join my mailing list