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March 23, 2006 Edition

Dear Max,

Can Manolo Blahnik be stopped? If I see another pointy-toes shoe this summer, I’m going to flip. I’m tiny with big feet, and those things look like boats. Do you have any words of wisdom?

Venus Diva

Dear V.D.,

First of all – sorry about your initials. Might I suggest some penicillin? (And don’t get me started on the Manolo Blahnik worshippers who consider your question blasphemous. Don’t worry…your email address is safe with me. Although, I could be bribed with say a new sock monkey or perhaps a finger-pinch of ham sandwich.) As to your big feet situation, it sounds like some sole-searching is in order here. Just because *you* don’t want to wear pointy-toed shoes, doesn’t mean nobody else should.  Shoe Diversity is what makes the world go around. Freedom of choice.  If we all wore the same shoes…and if they were all Manolo pumps, well, that would be silly. Especially for the men. So Manolo is too pointy for you. Have you tried Jimmy Chew? Bark Jacobs? Poochie? Chewie Vuitton?

Dear Max:

My owner always feeds me cheese – its the Kraft kind that comes in the little wrappers. It’s good and all, but I’ve seen my humans eat what looks like a better cheese- all nicely packaged in brown paper like a Christmas present. How do I get my owner to give me THIS cheese… ??


I hear ya Roxy,

I see *all sorts* of comestibles passing by – in pretty brown wrappers, brightly colored boxes, tins, plastic wrap, foil, on plates, in bowls, in hands… and I end up with the same dust pellets in my bowl every night. I’ve tried everything – whining, begging … Well, mostly whining and begging, but you get the idea. No consideration! Throw a dog a bone once in a while, will ya? I think the zen approach to this is best: seek contentment with the Kraft singles, and whenever the chance arises, get “Krafty”: jump up on counters and tables and pull their pretty brown packages of gourmet cheeses down to where they belong.

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