November 4, 2005 Edition

  Dear Max:

Are there any better computer prophylactics than Norton or McAfee?, which develop such sophisticated programs that my computer is incapable of doing anything but run these darn apps. I can't tell if the anti-virus software is effective because it directly defends against attacks or because it demands my computer's undivided attention.

Immobilized by Inoculation

  Dear Immobilized,

I know of what you speak. While I'm not a computer user, (I dictate) it seems I spend half my life waiting for various virus scans on everything from word files to recipes I'm downloading to the latest "Ask Max" questions. I am now convinced that the viruses themselves are the work of the anti-virus software companies. Think of it: the prophylactic makers are turning out TROJANS!

  Dear Max:

Do you know if baked pumpkin seeds really are good for sexual organ function? I heard these seeds are like the new organic Viagra.

Mr. Hardy Stiffenburg

  Dear Mr. Stiffenburg,

I don't know about pumpkin seeds, but recently I got into a bag of pistachios and yes, it was better than sex. But... then I was passing pistachio shells for about a week. I can tell you that the root of the word salacious is "salt" and pumpkin seeds are often heavily salted. So maybe you should just get a salt-lick. And introduce that into your sex life. (Alongside any other licking.)

Past Questions...
October 30, 2005
October 21, 2005
October 12, 2005
October 5, 2005
September 15, 2005
September 5, 2005
August 28, 2005
August 18, 2005
July 10, 2005
July 3, 2005
June 23, 2005
June 16, 2005
June 9, 2005
June 2, 2005
May 27, 2005