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The Straight Shih-Tsu...
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continued from previous...
“Farewell, Manny. Maybe it’s better you got to mate with Shelby
Jean. May your kids grow up small and evasive like you. Ughhh...”
And I thought, that proves it: you know something’s up when
mosquitoes have evolved the ability to talk. Certainly, the
argument runs strongly both ways. If successive generations
evolve, why do men still leave the toilet seat up? And why
doesn’t Howard Stern’s material ever change? At the same time,
watch out: intelligent design is a wild dogma in sheep’s clothing.
For disproof of intelligent design, check out Newark sometime. |
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January 5, 2006 Edition
Dear Max:
What is it with humans? Why do we fuss and fight over evolution verses
creation and creation verses evolution? To me it seems that if there is
a creation there has to be a "Creator" I learned in math class 0+
anything always ='s 0 so to me that rules out "there was nothing and
then there was something" theory..I know your only a small doggie but
dog spelled backwards is God and you probably got more wisdom than most
people...so what have you heard in these matters?
Confused
about "Big bang" verses the "Spoken thang"
Dear Confused,
First,
I have to correct a little typo, or ask for a second look at
your math teacher’s resume. 0 + anything = *anything*. And this
does leave the question of the “uncaused cause.” The first law
of thermodynamics (the one that says energy can’t be created or
destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another)
argues against creationism. But then who or what flipped
the switch on the perpetual energy machine? I wasn’t going
to wade into the murky waters of this debate, but just as I did,
by way of surveying the landscape, I had to fend off an attack
by a giant mosquito. I bit him in half, and as he crashed
into the swamp, he called out these dying words to his smaller
buddy: continued in previous column...
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Dear Max:
I've
got that "not so fresh feeling". Any advice?
Repulsive To Even Myself
Dear Repulsive,
I feel you, brother (or sister).
For New Year's, I made the mistake of heading to Vegas for the Nicky
Hilton thing. As you can see, I got knocked down, but I got up
again, and the results may be encouraging for those seeking
freshness.
12/31/05 11:45 pm... I am feeling no
pain. They cropped Kate Beckinsdale out of the shot, which was
silly, because she has that film coming out.
1/1/06 3:45 am... I am again feeling
no pain, because I have lost all feeling in my body. Word to
the wise: Drambuie
and Red Bull DO NOT MIX.
1/1/06 10:30 am... Into the drink for our
intrepid warrior... and not that kind of drink this time. I did the shampoo, the herbal body wash, the rinse-out conditioner (not the leave-in; That's so 2005.)
1/1/06 1:15 pm... Ahhhh. I'm a new man,
refreshed, rested and ready. You're never too far gone.
(They cropped Giselle out of the picture, which was fine, because
we're just friends. For now...)
Past Questions...
December 28, 2005
December 15, 2005
December 8, 2005
December 1, 2005
November 24, 2005
November 17, 2005
November 11, 2005
November 4, 2005
October 30, 2005
October 21, 2005
October 12, 2005
October 5, 2005
September 15, 2005
September 5, 2005
August 28, 2005
August 18, 2005
July 10, 2005
July 3, 2005
June 23, 2005
June 16, 2005
June 9, 2005
June 2, 2005
May 27, 2005
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